Blessings

Dear readers it is such a blessing to be able to blog again. I was ill for the past few months which I have expressed here in this blog about it. Knowing me, I hide in my shell when I am upset. I have been suffering from clinical depression for the past month. To be exact, it is called Bipolar Disorder depressed phase.

Today I went to church and learnt about Jesus' body broken for me. The author of Life. Love and walk with fellow brothers and sisters at their pace - I want to love my christian and non-christian friends alike. I am called to love.

Dear friend, I pray you'll know the love of God in your heart through our Lord Jesus Christ.

I am still in hospital now but am on home leave. I will be fully discharged from the care of the doctors and nurses on Monday. Yoohhoooo!!!

Wednesday's thoughts

It is about 2 hours to my next ECT. I'm planning some of my convocation details. SMS my family members that we got to meet at 830am on FRiday. I can't wait for it. SO happy!! We'll be eating at a SUshi place after the convo.

I made friends with quite a number of people here. Lor, Patricia, Paul, Wenny.. all this people are really nice. I hope i will never forget them.

Graduation Gown

Today, I went to get my graduation gown. It was a nice big store with lots of graduation photos and gowns displayed all around the shop.

I got myself the gown, drape and also the mortar. I will look something like this: This is NOT me. Just what I will look like in the gown that I went to collect just now. I can't wait til the time comes for me to wear it!

I had my second ECT today. I woke up with a fever, and had to take panadol to reduce it. Yesterday I got very angry with Lorraine because I thought she was playing favouritsm I didnt like that at all. So I glared and her and yelled at her. It was excruciating. The time seems to pass very slowly today. I slept a bit because of the fever and headache. Clarence and I spoke on the phone and he updated me as to how his lodging issue is like. He'll be back the Monday after next. I truly am looking forward to it. Today I spoke on the phone with my second sister. She let me speak to Sarah. How precious she is. I can't imagine being so loved. Maybe I shouldn't discredit my mother. But I really think my mom cant take any more of my nonsense. I'll live without her.

Today I was woken up by Nurse CHeryl Goh Ai Sze. I had western breakfast. Yesterday I spoke with my mom . She sounded concerned but I still dont like her tone of voice.

Right now I am waiting for Dr Leong to appear. Will keep you updated.

log of 16/7/08

Today I'll be having my 1st round of ECT.
what i did today - john ting is going to visit me, ect will be at 2pm. shld be awake by 4pm.
dr leong will see me before the ECT. spoke to clarence over the phone. spoke about what he likes to eat.

Important things to remember #1

Passwords are in the booklet and also on your live journal blog

Agreed to ECT on my own.

ON the 15 of July, I did these things
- woke up late
- had breakfast
-then went to use laptop
- felt tired again then went to take a 1 hr nap
- got informed that nurses had promotion
-listening to Grace To You Youtube movies, and also Ravi Zacharias
- Gone on Facebook to add Lorraine
-people that I have met are Dr Lau - who likes to sing and is a bipolar too; Lorraine - 13yo girl who refuses to go down to the child ward. Tan Bee Ling - TBL for short. Ayaka - a japanese girl who is much like Lorraine.
- I spoke to Patricia and her understudy. DD and Terep spoke to them. I was aware of this, however the contents of their speech I have little idea.
- Saw Dr Leong only for a little while. Wished I had seen him longer.
- Been updating my blog with some bible verses. Pepperody and WordFantastica are my main two blogs.

yesterday i went to church.listened to a sermon about kind david and bathsheba. thought about my own dad and his adultery. felt bad, but bounced back. on depnet, moon flamed me adn i vowed never to put entries on the forum anymore. Called clarence at 8pm. Bought a new phone K770i. the other phone keeps dying. thank god. went to christian books shop and found pastor prince israel dvds. wanted to buy. but sister called me just now to tell me not to. watched ER while chatting with Liz. Helped Liz understand the parable of the 10 virgins. Reading Rick Warren's book on problems. v good book.

moon accused me of being in love with my pdoc. i rebuked her sharply.I ate bread just now. I am still thinking of ECT. I emailed my sister serene who is now in AU. I need to recall tings terefore i am making this blog.

Today on 26th April 2008

Today I woke up could not study very much. Studying for Vision exam. Studied only two chapters. It is now night time. Mother went out. I got angry at Anngee and Clarence. Clarence and I talked and I apologized to him. Mother said I was unwell yesterday thus causing me to feel rejected. Today took holy communion with Grandma. Listened to hymns. Almost committed suicide with Stilnox and Alchohol. God saved me. Considering maintenance ECT. Because I keep having down times. Will talk to doc nelson about it when I meet him on the 9th of May.Prayed to the Lord. Got answer by sleeping. Hymns sing hymns. Good therapy. Handphone battery died. Think that I should be getting a new handphone. Want the 77oi Sony ericsson. But have no money. Logging off.